This recipe is brought to us by Rivervale.Emmaa. Kimchi is a traditional Korean preparation of fermented cabbage. It's usually stored in earthenware container underground to preserve the cabbage through the winter. Just toss in a gnome and you're golden. The following recipe uses small bits of gnome and cabbage, but you can use whole vegetables and a whole Gninja instead. This could be a grand experiment: How long does it take to fully ferment and tenderize a gnome? Throw in some spices and cabbage and it's practically a crock-pot meal! KIMCHI'D GNOME If you're sadly fresh out of gnome, you can use squid instead! First of all, prepare the gnome (a week before): - Choose about 300 grams (2/3 pound) of very fresh gnome. - Remove the guts and bones and rinse it. - Add 3 tbs salt and mix it with a spoon. - Put it in a container or glass jar and keep it in the refrigerator for a week. - Rinse the gnome thoroughly until not slippery and drain it (you can skin it if you want). - Dry the gnome with paper towel or cotton and chop it up. - Add it to your kimchi paste! Kimchi ingredients Ingredients - Baechu (napa cabbage 10 pounds) - salt - sweet rice flour - sugar - water - garlic - ginger - onion - fish sauce - gnome - hot pepper flakes - leek - green onions - carrot - radish Instructions -Trim the discolored outer leaves of 10 pounds of napa cabbage. - Cut the cabbage lengthwise into quarters and remove the cores. Chop it up into bite size pieces. - Soak the pieces of cabbage in cold water and put the soaked cabbage into a large basin. Sprinkle salt. (tip: 1 cup of salt will be used for 10 pounds of napa cabbage) - Every 30 minutes, turn the cabbage over to salt evenly (total salting time will be 1½ hours). - 1½ hours later, rinse the cabbage in cold water 3 times to clean it thoroughly. - Drain the cabbage and set aside. Make porridge - Put 3 cups of water and ½ cup sweet rice flour (chapssal garu) in a pot and mix it well and bring to a boil. Keep stirring until the porridge makes bubbles (about 5 minutes). - Add ¼ cup sugar. Stir and cook for a few more minutes until its translucent. - Cool it down. Make kimchi paste - Place the cold porridge into a large bowl. Now you will add all your ingredients one by one. - Add 1 cup of fish sauce, 2.5 cups of hot pepper flakes (depending on your taste), 1 cup of crushed garlic, 1-2 tbs of minced ginger, 1 cup amount of minced onion. (tip: much easier to use a food processor.) - Wash and drain the salty gnome. Chop it up and add it to the kimchi paste. - Add 10 diagonally-sliced green onions, 2 cups amount of chopped leek, 2 cups of julienned Korean radish, and ¼ cup of julienned carrot. - Mix all ingredients well and your kimchi paste is done. Action! Mix the cabbage with the kimchi paste! - Put the kimchi paste in a large basin and add all the cabbage. Mix it by hand. (tip: If your basin is not large enough to mix all the ingredients at once, do it bit by bit.) - Put the kimchi into an air-tight sealed plastic container or glass jar. Press down on the kimchi until the brine (the liquid that comes out) rises to cover the vegetables, leaving at least 1 inch of space at the top. Seal the jar. - Let it ferment for 1 to 5 days. Place a bowl or plate under the jar to help catch any overflow. Let the jar stand at cool room temperature, out of direct sunlight, for 1 to 5 days. You may see bubbles inside the jar and brine may seep out of the lid. - Check it daily and refrigerate when ready. Check the kimchi once a day, opening the jar and pressing down on the vegetables with a clean finger or spoon to keep them submerged under the brine. (This also releases gases produced during fermentation.) Taste a little at this point, too! When the kimchi tastes ripe enough for your liking, transfer the jar to the refrigerator. You may eat it right away, but it's best after another week or two (and it gives time for the gnome to be perfectly fermented!)