Hello everybody,
I finally finished today (13th june 2012), the work I started one year ago... That is, the answer to the most important question of Norrath: How to cook a Gnomish Dev?
This house was created for a strange purpose and I will try to explain it to you, so you may enjoy your stay better. There is a bunch of signs and books around, so make sure to look at them! (you can find all recipes, sign texts, books and cards as links below)
One year ago, in spring 2011, our dear and beloved dev Gninja, created a live event for reconstructing the druid ring and spires of Velious.
A lot of testers were not happy and went back to the common test practice: crafting gnomish voodoo dolls and sticking more or less rusty pins in them. I thought this practice was way outdated and started to think about something better...
and I found it!
I always liked to cook my fellow players, especially froglocks. But gnomes do make tasty dishes too... and guess what Gninja was? A GNOME!
I also had this cute house from when we had to test the prestige housing system...
So I had this perfect idea: creating a house to trap, slaughter, cook and eat Gninja! I even added some more recipes for eating other devs, so he doesn't feel alone in our well-filled stomachs!
Then time went by. Lots of things to test, no ideas about how I could make it... And finally building blocks were added. It was a time consuming process, but I DID found how to create my perfect house...
So here is the house, and here's how to use it.
To cook a Gnomish Dev, especially one as tricky as Gninja, you'll need to prepare yourself.
1/ create the perfect bait:
Launch an advertising campaign around the target house or office with sensational wording. Exemple:
2/ create your trap:
Put a big sign advertising your Museum of Cogs.
Build the museum with every cog available.
Add a cute (for a gnome) device , like a tinkered vehicle. You could build an automated mincer but it would probably be a bit too obvious.
Add in a bunch of tools, cloaks and other tinker gear.
When the gnome will enter the house, he'll start hoping around every cog display. When he's the most distracted, grab a carefully hidden knife and stab him in the back.
If other developers decided to visit, hit them hard with a heavy cog on the head (gnomes are immune) while they cower in a corner seeing their gnomish friends have fun, waiting for an explosion.
3/ quickly snatch the gnome away through the back door and put them in a pen. Don't forget to shackle them, little beasts are devious.
4/ If you want to use the brain, use first the Gnomish brain extractor, and don't forget to remove the body after removing the brain.
Cut them into big pieces with the big Dev Cleaver, then chop them down with the axe or with the smaller Dev Cleavers.
You can mince part of the meat or extract dev's juice in the Tier'Dal Juice extractor and mincer. If your gnome has put in a bit of fat, you can make him propel the device first, as gnomes are a bit alternative for hamsters. You can also use other kind of annoying things like Qhos or Nathans.
This device is very good at extracting Teir'Dal blood to make sanquet, spirits or poisons.
5/ after catching, killing and cutting your gnome in pieces, it's time for the cooking.
You'll need a very big kitchen with a big spit (if you catch barbarians), massive pots, an oven, a grill, a big fridge and, of course, a dev-sized toaster.
Don't forget to stock up some beer if you want to cook dwarves, and some more if you want to catch them too!
Recipe books are on the work surface (they're totally serious recipes btw, you can eat them just fine after substituting the various races for the actual animal used)
6/ You should keep a little place for burying your favourite dev, like a big mausoleum for our beloved Gninja. Don't forget to write down cute epitaphs for this nice little dev, and always pay your respects to his memory.
7/ build a grand restaurant that will have 2 goals:
First, eating your gnome with friends in a nice setting, with cushions, music, flowers, fount and such. Don't forget to personalize your greeting cards!
Second, catching some more devs, like Cronyn or other dwarves by making them drink A LOT of beer!
ENJOY!
*note to self: Gninja doesn't burn when placed on a fire*
(yeah, I had a graphic bug that day)
But Cronyn, in his gnomish iteration, needs to put some muscles on... Run in the wheel little gnome!
But, as every gnome, he can be a bit too thrilled by cogs...
Thanks for visiting and playing a bit with us Cronyn, and good luck with all our feedbacks and bugs!
Layout File
Video File (you may want to download it)
Text files as a zip containing:
- Gnome recipes, vol 1
- Gnome recipes, vol 2
- High Elf recipes
- Dark Elf recipes
- Froglock recipes
- Halfling recipes
- Dwarf recipes
- Cronyn's Dwarf Tamales
- Barbarian recipes
- Ratonga recipes
- Dev's leftovers recipes
- Epiphany cake, the Galette des Rois with frangipane
- Cookies Recipes
- Signs texts
- Gninja Epitaphs
- restaurant cards (basic text)
- How to cook a Gnomish Dev (explaining text)
There are 6 new recipe books in the house! All my thanks to Dreamweaver for volunteering!
And all my thanks to Gninja for naming an item "Leucosia's Humanoid Recipes" (from anchorage, \aITEM -2072162478 414800868:Leucosia's Humanoid Recipes\/a )!
On top of the recipe books, I added tombstones for all the devs and community managers I had the pleasure of eating:
RIP Frizznik. Tasted better with apples than with garlic
Here lies Zoltaroth. Was know as the best flavor thenceforth
RIP Omougi. His spicy steak would please even a veggie!
Here lies Cronyn. Sure was the guest star of the inn!
R.I.P. Silius. Was cooked at 220 º Celsius
RIP Fyreflyte. That elf always tasted just right
Here lies Rothgar. Spit-roasted, he was a star
R.I.P. Piestro. Of all pies the maestro
RIP Dreamweaver. Always the best piece in the freezer
R.I.P Ttobey. Tasted way better than a turkey
The other devs mentioned in the house (Kaitheel, Domino, Gnobrin, Lyndro and Haohmaru) don't have epitaphs as they were only guests in the restaurant and not dishes. Well, except for Cronyn as, being a dwarf, the best way to catch him was to make him eat and drink then bonk him on the head so he was guest and food at the same time!
Previous books can be found on EQ2 Furniture (click bottom-left book icon to read them)
- Gnome recipes, vol 1
- Gnome recipes, vol 2
- High Elf recipes
- Dark Elf recipes
- Froglok recipes
- Halfling recipes
- Dwarf recipes
- Cronyn's Dwarf Tamales
- Barbarian recipes
- Ratonga recipes
- Dev's leftovers recipes
- Epiphany cake, the Galette des Rois with frangipane
- Cookies Recipes
New additions are: (.txt files)
- Christmas-elf Jello *hides*
- Dreamweaver's Recipes (part I)
- Dreamweaver's Recipes (part II)
- Dreamweaver's Smörgåsbord (part I)
- Dreamweaver's Smörgåsbord (part II)
- Kimchi'd Gnome (sorry Gninja, it wasn't my idea I SWEAR!)
Bon appétit!